Bleedin bloggin deadly...!

Still proud to wear the mantle of techno-retard.... this blog site took me more than two hours to get working properly. I've no doubt a blind six month old Orangutang is laughing at me in a brail blog as I type. Ooo ooo ahh aahh to you too you wee ginger twat, hope someone hides your bananas. I actually have a great rapport with animals... more or less a modern day doctor doo-little, minus the annoying brats he dragged about with him. I taught my cat (Spacker) to read at age 4 months. He has chat for Europe and a handy sideline in slaughtering small birds and woodland animals. Our back garden is rapidly becoming a cemetry. I'm pretty sure this will be great for the grass in a fertilising fashion next year but at the moment it just makes flies and stink. Ah well. So apart from Spacker I can speak to cows and some kinds of dog. I found out the cows could hear me when I was hitch-hiking near Crianlarich in Scotland. I'd had no lift for hours despite my fantastic hat and pleasant demeanour so I spoke to a field of cows on my left. The young ones were the most open minded and took quite easily to the human moo. They quickly congregated round my corner of the field to say their piece. Soon the adults (as usual reluctantly following the youth) traipsed down to see what was going on, stopping here and there for a dump or massive piss. Eventually they couldn't help themselves and they were mooing themselves silly along with me and all their kids. I think there were about forty of them all told. We really got on quite well. I still eat burgers.