Apologies for what may follow....

So, working on the assumption that this will descend into the bottomless pit of internet waffle I am forced to find some sort of justification for sitting bashing these tiny buttons.. The best I can come up with, on the spot, is that one day, once humanity transcends its current pitiful state, a more intelligent race/entity may be bored on some inter dimensional bus trip or equivalent and flick through the entire history of man in a nano-second and stumble across my blog.... I'll call you Ralf - mind the wormhole Ralf. I've had a completely average day. My trainers have some kind of odour problem (possibly related to my feet) and my bicycle refuses to find top gear which means the twats in cycling shorts and t-shirts with stickers are overtaking me. Very dis-heartening. I spit on them at traffic lights. Sorry Ralf - we have a tendency to resent being second best - you know - all that stuff about Darwin and the big fish eats the small fish then grows legs and starts hassling the birds. You should be grateful - in fact you owe us big time - I demand instant resurrection on a planet of my own, nay, my personal solar system, filled with fantastic s**t (look under hedonism, ferrari, tele-porter, jet-pack and anything else James Bond had - especially that submissive Oriental lass out of You Only Live Twice - you could have a whole planet of her and her pals). Anyway - just pimp up the system Ralfie, you know what I'm saying - as soon as you get to alpha-beta quadrant six, or wherever the future version of Skegness is, you need to fire me back up (before you check in)... and make me look really really great Ralfie...